In my very first video blog, I offer you tips to stay connected in your relationship before and after you bring your baby home. Becoming new parents can be stressful. When we’re not feeling resilient in a stressful situation, communication can become about  control, using our words to “get” our partner to do what we want. Of course, this can create a hostile environment where defenses run high.

Feeling unappreciated and overworked can cause distance between new parents. To nurture your connection, I encourage you to use your communication for relating rather than controlling. Your words are powerful. Choose them carefully. Own your experience with “I” statements, reveal your inner world to your partner, and stay attuned to your partner when he or she is stressed.

Only one of you gets to be an asshole at a time. The other one of you needs to be the witness of consciousness to help your couple bubble thrive. Regardless if this is your first or fourth child, fine tuning your communication will allow you to stay soft, responsive, and curious with your partner. 

To learn more, I highly recommend Susan Campbell’s book “Getting Real.”

If you have any questions, please ask them in the comments section and I’ll  either answer here or create a new video blog in response.

Lots of love.

Recent Posts

The Spiritually Aligned

In my work with clients, I pay attention to the subtle ways in which people leave their healthy, aware state. And when they deviate from their health, I subtly guide them back to the core of their being. The core of their being is their home base. It's their alignment...

Are you speaking your truth or are you just projecting?

It’s common to see our relationships through the lens of unconscious memories of people from our past (projections), through barriers or walls to intimacy (deflections), through old ideas from the past about who we are (introjections), through shame and guilt (retroflections), or through the opinions of others (confluence). In Gestalt psychotherapy, we call these Contact Boundary Disturbances. All of these disturbances are patterned ways of being in relationships that we developed early in life in an attempt to find safety and keep connection. These were adaptable strategies that helped us when we didn’t yet know how to stand in our dignity and our truth.