1.) Expecting your partner to know what you need: in relationship, we often expect our partner to be a mind reader.  We want our partner to know how to care for us, touch us, and speak to us without having to ask for it. Then, we resent him or her when he/she fails to do so. Learn how to ask for what you need with kindness and clarity, and make this a daily part of your communication.
2.) Not hearing your partner’s struggle: In communication, we want to be heard and so rarely do we pause to listen to our loved ones with curiosity. What does your partner need? What is your partner’s struggle? Mirror what you hear without interpretation and you’ll be surprised at the outcome.
3.) Self-centered thinking: When were identified with the thoughts of our mind, we live in a very self focused way. The way your ego tries to find its significance in the world becomes your focus and a heart connection isn’t nurtured. Even if your ego tries to find its significance by putting other people’s needs before your own, this is still giving to get and is not the real unconditional connection you long for. Stop identifying with your mind, and begin to connect to the truth of your heart. From here, you feel the immense love that always lives in your heart and that spills over onto your partner and all of the people you encounter.

Recent Posts

The Spiritually Aligned

In my work with clients, I pay attention to the subtle ways in which people leave their healthy, aware state. And when they deviate from their health, I subtly guide them back to the core of their being. The core of their being is their home base. It's their alignment...

Are you speaking your truth or are you just projecting?

It’s common to see our relationships through the lens of unconscious memories of people from our past (projections), through barriers or walls to intimacy (deflections), through old ideas from the past about who we are (introjections), through shame and guilt (retroflections), or through the opinions of others (confluence). In Gestalt psychotherapy, we call these Contact Boundary Disturbances. All of these disturbances are patterned ways of being in relationships that we developed early in life in an attempt to find safety and keep connection. These were adaptable strategies that helped us when we didn’t yet know how to stand in our dignity and our truth. 


Join Our Community!

Check your email for the 4 R's of Conscious Relating!