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Are you speaking your truth or are you just projecting?

It’s common to see our relationships through the lens of unconscious memories of people from our past (projections), through barriers or walls to intimacy (deflections), through old ideas from the past about who we are (introjections), through shame and guilt (retroflections), or through the opinions of others (confluence). In Gestalt psychotherapy, we call these Contact Boundary Disturbances. All of these disturbances are patterned ways of being in relationships that we developed early in life in an attempt to find safety and keep connection. These were adaptable strategies that helped us when we didn’t yet know how to stand in our dignity and our truth. 

Spread Magic. Take a Leap.

For far too long, I forgot that I was magical. I forgot that the essence of my make up was pure, sparkling creative energy that could heal the oldest wounds and reach the depths of intimacy. I thought that the habitual thoughts, impulses, and behaviors of my conditioned self were the extent of who I was. In being identified with the part of myself that was shaped by experiences I had early in life, I lived as if I was who the world told me I was.

Cultivating Intimacy

I believe that we all long for deep intimacy. I also believe that we are deathly afraid of the vulnerability it takes to cultivate such depth of connection in our relationships. In a recent article I wrote for titled “3 ways to cultivate...

Vulnerability and Intimacy

I used to hide my truth from those around me in an attempt to earn love. On the deepest most unconscious level, I thought that if you really new me that you would never like me, let alone love me. I wrote about the cost of this in a recent...

Love: How to Stay Open to Real Love

Like many others, I have been searching for love in an intimate partnership. I have been wanting a partner to love me in a deep, unconditional way that validates my worth and beauty. In that search for love, I have tried to manage myself and others in the...



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