In the past, the way that I have shown up for relationships has prevented me from experiencing deep connection. Even though I am a caring, loving person who is both thoughtful and open, the way in which I hid myself, my experience , and my truth from others didn’t allow others to contact me. I could be focused on intent on them. I could be focused and intent on me. But I was unable to be both with me and them.
When I look back on my life, I can honestly say I have had very limited experiences of deep relationship. Sure, I’ve had deep conversations. Yes, I have had deep sensual connection. And I have felt seen and loved by others.
These three things blocked the point of connection between myself and others:
1.) I managed myself to appear as I thought they wanted me to be.
2.) I didn’t speak my truth because I didn’t want to risk loss of connection.
3.) I didn’t even look within myself to connect with my experience and emotion in relation to others.
Without these three elements on line, my relationships suffered. The very things I was conditioned to think that would get me relationships actually got in my way in the context of relationship.
I share more about this revelation in my newest video blog.
I feel nervous sharing this with you, and I am committed to revealing myself in service of our connection.