• When you first start dating online, it can feel like work. Clarity and intuition are imperative to making online dating an empowering and rewarding process. Here are 6 ways to consciously date online and cultivate true intimacy.
  • Know who you want to be with—Before you embark on dating online, get really clear on what qualities you want in a partner. Grab a piece of paper and on the top write “Qualities I want in my partner.” Then get as clear as you possibly can. Is it important to you that you meet someone who has emotional intelligence, has done deeper work, and who communicates with transparency, kindness, and integrity? Then write then down. And then be sure you bring these qualities to the table, too. Be the person you want to be with, and you will be able to recognize those qualities AND be open to receiving them when you find a person who embodies them.
  • Know what kind of relationship you want—Do you want a relationship that focuses on sensual passion? Adventure? Shared hobbies? Collaborating to manifest your dreams? All of the above? Know exactly what you’re looking for and then write it down on a piece of paper. At the bottom of that paper, write down why you deserve this relationship.
  • Know yourself well—When you write your profile, offer an accurate description of yourself that goes beyond your likes and dislikes. Write about your inner world and what deeper qualities you bring to relationships. Share what it is you want to work on with your partner that you’ve never experienced before. Tell the Universe exactly what you want so that there is no confusion in your message. This level of awareness and transparency is life changing.
  • Before you make any dates/meetings, ask important questions—You can tell a lot from a picture and that instant attraction is important. However, a few well designed questions can save you a lot of energy and time. For example, if you meditate daily and this dedicated mindfulness practice is important to you, ask your potential date about his/her experience with a sitting practice. Ask these questions before you meet so that you know if a non-negotiable interest or quality is not present.
  • On your date, notice your inner experience—When you first meet this person, are you nervous? If you are, take a deep breath and share that emotional information with your date. Remember you are nervous because you care, and if you have a relationship with this person you do them no favors by hiding your inner world on your first meeting. If 10 min into the date you notice you’re not interested, share that with your date and wish him/her well. Honor your deeper experience EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.
  • When you find someone you like, delete your profile—It’s really easy to see all of the profiles on dating sites and feel like there are limitless possibilities. This is one of the great things about online dating. Having access to more people than paths you cross in a day is expansive; however, nurturing special relationships makes them all the sweeter. Nurture the goodness you find and allow yourself to experience true intimacy.


Recent Posts

The Spiritually Aligned

In my work with clients, I pay attention to the subtle ways in which people leave their healthy, aware state. And when they deviate from their health, I subtly guide them back to the core of their being. The core of their being is their home base. It's their alignment...

Are you speaking your truth or are you just projecting?

It’s common to see our relationships through the lens of unconscious memories of people from our past (projections), through barriers or walls to intimacy (deflections), through old ideas from the past about who we are (introjections), through shame and guilt (retroflections), or through the opinions of others (confluence). In Gestalt psychotherapy, we call these Contact Boundary Disturbances. All of these disturbances are patterned ways of being in relationships that we developed early in life in an attempt to find safety and keep connection. These were adaptable strategies that helped us when we didn’t yet know how to stand in our dignity and our truth. 


Join Our Community!

Check your email for the 4 R's of Conscious Relating!